January 2010
Thank you, Nancy Grace. →
An optimist stays up to see the new year come in; a pessimist stays up to make sure the old one leaves.
December 2009
An interesting stereotype
This is something I’ve never really thought of before, but something I know I’ve done, and so have you.
Yesterday, I went out with Nate and his daughter, Ellie. She is 2 1/2 years old. We went to the Zoo and then we went out to eat. I noticed this a bit at the zoo, but it was very blatant from our waitress at Olive Garden. People assumed I was Ellie’s mother. We got all...
Perfect Day for Bananafish →
This is one of my favorite short stories. It’s disturbing, but it makes sense. It was written after WWII ended, and it makes sense the man is having issues. That’s why it’s one of my favorite stories. Don’t judge me for liking it after you read it - think about the meaning behind every part of the story, and it all makes sense. You’ll love it, too; even if it is...
The Rules of Christmas Cookie Eating
1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories, because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free. 2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, It also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories. 3. If a friend comes over while you are making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you...
You know it's a good day at work when...
You get wished Merry Christmas by every customer
You get someone else to unclog that toilet for you
Someone asks for your phone number
You get to spend an hour of your shift aimlessly wandering the store, looking for a lost elderly woman who is MIA from her husband.
When that same elderly woman turns out to be at T.J. Maxx, up the hill, and not, in fact, in your store.
When you really...
When you try your best but you don’t succeed When you get what you want but not what you need When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep Stuck in reverse… And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can’t replace When you love someone but it goes to waste Could it be worse? Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try...
The decades looked on and didn’t notice her passing; they stared from their fixed mounts across at each other and didn’t see revolution striding between them, on her way to destiny.
Holiday Eating Tips
Of course this is being posted by me. What else is new? I love food!
Holiday Eating Tips:
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door where they’re serving cookies.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare. You cannot find it any other...
Hints for Customers from a Retail Employee
Here’s a list of all the things that PISS retail employees off during the Holiday season (and probably the rest of the year, too):
1. Constantly follow us around asking idiotic questions like “Where are TVs? Do you have fish sticks? Where are the lightbulbs?” Um, hello? Did you even look around you when you walked in the store?
2. Throw coupons, receipts, or money at us. No,...
A man does not define a woman. A woman defines herself.